More inappropriate topics for my mom to be embarrassed about when she shows this site to all her friends: the bases.
Specifically, what are they? After a heated debate over email this morning, the only conclusion that’s been reached is about first base (a.k.a. kissing, although one participant said that hand-holding would meet the criteria. Hmm). I will be eagerly anticipating all submissions for the definitions of second and third base. Results may/may not be posted on Fresh!
Current humidity: 85%. I finally broke down and turned on the AC.
Doing laundry: I find it ironic that there are now three items in my closet that have been stained by liquid laundry detergent.
Things I need like a hole in the head: brand new solid blaze orange pants. I kind of felt like a stripper wearing them yesterday. But in a good, non-stripperish sort of way.
Mom wrote to me this morning that, of late, my “weblog has had more than a few ‘interesting’ entries … your former high school classmates wouldn’t believe it!” So, my question:does the above sentence qualify?
From email (and also from Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypant by Dav Pilkey, in which the evil professor forces everyone to assume new names):
Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:
| a = stinky b = lumpy c = buttercup d = gidget e = crusty f = greasy g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim j = poopsie k = flunky l = booger m = pinky |
n = zippy o = goober p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy s = snotty t = falafel u = dorkey v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper y = dinky z = zsa-zsa |
Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:
| a = diaper b = toilet c = giggle d = bubble e = girdle f = barf g = lizard h = waffle i = cootie j = monkey k = potty l = liver m = banana |
n = rhino o = burger p = hamster q = toad r = gizzard s = pizza t = gerbil u = chicken v = pickle w = chuckle x = tofu y = gorilla z = stinker |
Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:
| a = head b = mouth c = face d = nose e = tush f = breath g = pants h = shorts i = lips j = honker k = butt l = brain m = tushie |
n = chunks o = hiney p = biscuits q = toes r = buns s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles v = kisser w = squirt x = humperdinck y = brains z = juice |
I will now only answer to Booger Toiletsniffer.
I’m really not supposed to be at work this afternoon. It’s Friday. I could have gone home (and stayed home) at noon. But I came back here because it’s quiet and I thought I could get some work done … instead, I got caught up reading articles over at McSweeney’s — the site is much deeper than it appears — and decided I must have a paper subscription RIGHT NOW. I might have to wander on up to the Ruminator to see if any copies of issue #4 are left …
Woohoo! I’ve got 60 minutes of free voicemail, so pick up the phone and send me some lovin’ (toll free, all my dear, cheap Minneapolis friends!): 1-877-748-7979 ext. 933.
After reading frantically for the past four days, I’m glad to have finally finished my book club selection and can now move onto something more my pace. Thanks to Sam, age 7, for such a thoughtful suggestion.
My life can now resume as usual: the 2000 season of The Real World has commenced in New Orleans! I can now go to sleep at night with the happy realization that I’ll be consumed for the next 18 weeks by the seven characters I’ll probably only know as The Asian Girl, The Gay Guy, The Blond Chick Who’s Mormon, The Other Blond Chick, The Player, The Black Guy and The Bleached Hair Boy. Life is good sometimes.
This is the personal Web site of Roger and Lynsey Struthers of Bloomington, Minn.
April 20, 2008 —Roger's mom was presented with the Silver Beaver Award in recognition of her contribution to Boy Scouting.
